Don’t clip your goat with the hiccoughs, or a bad cough, while sneezing or laughing. When a goat, which normally runs to the milk room for milking, baulks, don’t blame her when you have to clean the floor. Goats sleep like the dead, the dead of a broken neck. Don’t panic, check for breathing first. Don’t have peanuts (insert your goat’s favorite treat) in your pocket while sitting on the ground in the middle of your herd; even if your herd is only two. A chicken laying an egg can sound like a goat in distress. A goat can stick its’ head through a fence but not be able to pull it back out. Keep necessary tools handy. If you can open a gate with one hand, a goat can open it too. If you don’t need a ladder to reach something, a goat can reach it, unless you are 7’ tall. If you don’t like company while taking a shower, remember, a goat prefers to milk with just you. There is no such thing as a bucket or feeder on the ground that can’t be tipped over. No fencing is goat-proof. They only stay where they are happy. Kenny is cheaper than Texas A&M. Always put the Probios tube up high, very high. Goats sleep better during the day, they party at night. When you have overnight guests that aren’t familiar with goats, don’t plan on sleeping. Don’t turn your back on a buck during the rut. Never, never explain what the bucks are doing during rut to visitors. When drinking sweet tea while out with the goats, always bring enough for everybody. When dealing with a vet, who calls your goat a sheep, call Vicki.