Gloria the rescue goat by, Pokeyone42
Kelso... our beautiful long-awaited, first-born baby of 2007, was a great big buck kid who was born at 4:15 am on Feb 2nd, on a COLD winter's night, to a mom who had an extremely interesting history. Unfortunately tho, we do not know her very unique history, But I am SURE that she has a very juicy one.....doesn't EVERYONE have really gossipy yet awful stories in their backgrounds? We only know Gloria's RECENT history, which is not really that different than alot of goats unfortunately,... tho her recent history IS very sad...which makes it pretty interesting in itself, huh?
Anyway.... so....we rescued this sorry-looking malnourished limping skeleton of a goat, (named Gloria,) from a well-meaning farmer, (named Harold,) who out of the "goodness of his heart", rescued her from an auction, and brought her home, where he kept her in the wet, pitch-black creepy basement of his barn, so that he could starve her slowly to death in complete darkness.........(go figure.)
Sooo, this good-hearted, (tho completely uninformed but compassionate man,) "rescued" poor terrified Gloria, who came with a very deep, five-inch gash (yes... I said FIVE-inches..!) in her front shoulder and a broken front leg, as well as a chewed-up face....and just tossed her into his dark, creepy, wet barn, with his equally sad and hungry cows, to fend for herself, and to eat whatever she could find. It was pathetic,... heart-breaking, really... tho fortunately, Gloria was amazingly fast on 3 legs, and was able to escape the wrath of the hungry large cows who now had to share what little food they were fed, with this poor, injured, and terrified, but wonderful goat who obviously had a very strong desire to live.
Well, along with a broken leg, torn shoulder, and scarred face, dear Gloria must also have a few screws loose in her wee little brain... (perfectly understandable, after such a non-interesting yet sad recent history.)...........I am convinced that her sad, yet mostly unknown (but less recent) history plays a part in her being more than a few bales short of a hay-stack. I am sure of this, because after we got her from Harold, who gave her to us, (months after he had so "kindly rescued" her from the auction house... AND after she destroyed Harold's phone..; most likely she was trying to call 911 at the time, as she needed rescuing yet again, but her clumsy hooves probably would not cooperate with the tiny push-buttons on the phone, and so maybe she got frustrated, and just ripped the whole phone unit from the wall....) and so we gladly went to Harold's and caught the poor frightened, screwy-brained, limping ghost of a goat in his dark, barn basement and brought her home to OUR bright, airy, sunlight-filled barn, to meet our other spoiled rotten goats, who have NO FREAKING IDEA how lucky they are to live in our barn and not Harold's. ( I keep telling them how lucky they are, but they continue to act like spoiled rotten brats, but we love and indulge them anyways.)
After a somewhat short adjustment period, (of gaining weight, and getting to know other goats,) we bred our new friend Gloria, to our big, strapping handsome young buck, Turk, and five LONG months later she had a beautiful, bouncing baby boy, and although she cooed too, and nursed him.... she repeatedly stomped on her newborn beautiful baby's head and back, and tried to bash his brains in, and tried to squish his little 10 pound body into the bedding for the first hour of his little life.
After trying to calm dear (tho nutty) Gloria down, we came to the conclusion that rather than a "June Cleaver" (-nauseatingly sweet-) kind of mom, our Gloria was more of an "Andrea Yates" (BONKERS!!!!!) kind of mom, and we thought it best to remove baby Kelso from under her hooves before she drowned him in the bathtub-(oh wait, there IS no bathtub up there in the barn.....oh well, you get my drift.)
So, anyway, we wrapped this abused wonderful little bundle of newborn joy in a nice fluffy towel, and brought him into the living room by the woodstove, and he became our first "house-goat" of the year...
Baby Kelso slept thru the night right off the bat in the dog crate... I fell SOOO in love with this beautiful new baby.. (maybe it's my empty-nest syndrome or something, as my human kids are in college now....or maybe it was just my soft heart for homeless, and strays....I dunno....doesn't matter, I guess...)
But I bottle-fed this beautiful baby boy on demand, and I would hold him and sit in my recliner and watch tv or read while he slept peacefully in my lap, or nibbled at my book or on my clothes, or face...... all the while petting, and talking to him...and napping right along with him.......... it was truly a wonderful bonding experience......I became little Kelso's "mama"... I WANTED to bring em into the bedroom to sleep with us at night, (as I felt sorry for him sleeping all alone.. after all, he WAS just a brand-new lonely baby...) but.....I figured that was asking a little much of Chuck..
Chuck loves the goats...... no doubt in my mind...., but a GOAT IN THE BEDROOM????? Even HE draws the line at times! But our new baby boy Kelso did just fine sleeping by the woodstove in the living room on a soft towel, in the dog crate..............(and in the morning, he would awake just AFTER my first cup of coffee.. the little angel-boy!) That was just an extra bonus, as I am a moron, before my first cup of coffee..
Well, when we finally had some more babies born 9 days after Gloria's son Kelso entered this world with mom trying to turn his brains into mush, and his poor little body into bedding, we moved him up to the barn...with his new "sisters."
(By nine days old, Kelso was jumping in and out of our recliners, and doing laps through the house constantly, and for SOME unknown reason... he LOVED dumping the trash in the bathroom......ew......)
He was VERY cute.. AND he was pretty much litter-trained, which helped alot........(while he lived in the house.)
He loved having the 4 baby girls for company when he was just 9 days old....!!!!!! He had been all alone with just us old people for 9 days, and suddenly, he had 3 Alpine triplet girls, and a boer/cross doeling for company!!!!!!! In HIS mind, I bet.. "Life don't get any better than that!"
In the meantime, Kelso's mom Gloria, (with the broken leg, torn shoulder, and screws loose,) became very sweet and loving toward us, and even allowed me to milk her twice a day...(It WAS a bit of a challenge at first, but she soon settled down and realized I did not want to hurt her, but that I wanted to be her friend, and I guess that she decided that she wanted to be MY friend, too! It truly seemed like a breakthrough with her, and it was WONDERFUL!!!!!!! )
She was living up in the barn with the other wonderful goats we have and discovered how to actually BE a goat... (a spoiled goat) but nonetheless she learned how to be a goat...(and she MUST have some Alpine in her blood, either that, or she learned from the top Alpines in the barn...cuz she is such a bully toward the kids...a BITER, too!!!!! She doesn't bite US, but she bites any kid that interferes with her being petted. She is a quick learner, I guess!)
Gloria seems happy to be living the way a goat SHOULD live, and she likes us I think, (as she also liked her baby Kelso,) but at least she doesn't try to stomp on our heads, or smush us into the bedding.) .. Poor Gloria (with the interesting yet unknown history) now comes hobbling over for petting, all of the time.........and that warms my heart! She even likes HUGS!!!!!!
(Originally, when I first laid eyes on her at Harold's, I told my husband that I would have sent her for meat.......as she was suffering.. I am SURE that is what the original owners intended... but then, dear, sweet, compassionate, yet dopey Harold stepped in and bought her for a song.. ) and now WE have her, and she is a HAPPY lovebug, who LOVES life, and LOVES people too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Interesting twist, huh? Yes.. she limps, but so what? She is HAPPY!!!!!!!!!
Well, now, here we are... 7 months later...and my sweet little loveable Kelso (Gloria's son) is now 125 pounds of very powerful, manly testosterone complete with STINKINESS and nasty dirty habits to match!!! He is STILL a very loving sweet boy, which is fortunate, I suppose, except for that he loves to rub his sweet, loving, testosterone-infested stinkiness ALL OVER ME!!!! He came over for a hug the other day, and just let loose! He sprayed me good, just like he was a fireman at a 3-alarm fire, and I was a burning building full of people!!! OH YAY! (Talk about jumping up FAST and running away!!!!!!!!!) Of course Kelso followed me and stared at me, and was asking.."WHUTSAMATTAH?" with that goofy buck-grin of his.... I just patted em on the head (while being completely grossed-out) and we hiked back to the barn shortly after THAT! He is a VERY piggy smelly fellow these days, but he is the sweetest boy, and I am very glad that we kept him... at least right now!
Although I love Kelso, (as if he were my own kid.. oh wait! He IS my kid!) I do NOT enjoy being peed on, and so have decided that he can no longer go on hikes with us, (Chuck and I and the does) until he is finished with this silly testosterone-induced blubbering, and generally ridiculous behavior! (I think the girls even laugh at him too, most of the time, as he just looks and acts, and SOUNDS very silly...) I still give him hugs, tho, (as he IS just the most LOVING boy....) but I just try not to breathe too much when I do it........and I also am careful to watch for his "fire-hose.."
His mother Gloria, is now bred again, and I am hoping for a little girl or two this time... AND..... if she doesn't try to bash their brains in, or smash their little bodies into mush, that would be a welcome bonus!!!!!!! If she does...... then I guess I will have babies in my recliner again in JANUARY!!!!!! What a shame.. NOT!!!!!!!! (I LOVE house-babies!)
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Vicki McGaugh TX Nubians
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Joined: 03 Sep 2006
Posts: 3439
Location: North of Houston Texas
Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2007 5:04 pm Post subject: Escape artists by Pokeyone42
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I wrote this story in early summer of 2006...
Well, this morning, I went up to the barn to do chores while Chuck slept-(he has been doing hay, so is dog-tired) I figured I would help em out by doing all of the chores myself, and letting em sleep in a little.. NOPE!!!!!!!! Those adoreable rotten baby girlie goats didn't allow it.......(my forgetfulness did not help tho. )
Anyway...
Everything was fairly normal in the barn...well as normal as goofy goats will allow, anyways...)
Everything went as routinely as it usually does.. (all of the goats clamouring to get into the milk room at once for grain-when...., GEE!......... FUNNY! We are not milking ANY of them!!!!
But be assured they know where their grain is kept..AND......... they ALL think they are starving, and so it is a TOTAL goat riot every morning in our otherwise peaceful barn.
So anyway, after battling "Nina the pig," and "Indy," ( who WAS underweight from milking about 40 thousand gallons a day for months on end.., but getting on the fat side now, but still thinks she is underfed and needs an extra 20 pounds of grain a day...) ... and then the 3 adoreable baby girls, to just FEED their sorry butts, I needed coffee... (YES! I know! They are COMPLETELY SPOILED BRATS! ALL of them, but we completely adore every one of them! Unfortunately, they know it, and take advantage of it daily!)
Well, then I came into the house to have my coffee, and no sooner did I pour that steaming, aromatic cup of wonderful.....when I heard baby goat screams of bloody murder! (I then remembered that I had not hooked the front barn door shut, and so figured that in trying to escape, one of the baby girls might have pushed on the bottom, poked her head out, and got stuck...like THAT has never happened before...uh huh......)
The barn we have was DEFINATELY not built for goats! .. It is a "horse" barn, and the main doors as well as the stall doors are on slidey thingys at the top. I guess horses tend to be pretty laid back and cooperative............like....gee..... maybe ya put a calm old horse into a barn, and by-golly.......he STAYS there!!!!!! WOW!!!!!! WHAT A CONCEPT! Being a goat-owner, that is completely foreign to me!
And...............if ya forget to lock goats in with all kinds of chains-padlocks, combination locks, etc...) they tend to escape! (yes, I am exaggerating again, but just a tad....as goats have extremely nimble lips, capable of picking locks better than any NYC burglar!) Goats are THE best escape artists, hands down!!! Every NYC burglar should have a few! (Our "former horse barn" is now a "goat barn"...complete with new gates, and padlocks, and chains...)
(I remember years ago, my "well-behaved pampered" caprine friends got loose and played on the rides at the New York State Fair, while I was happily SLEEPING in the barn, while thinking they were also sleeping right next to me..!!!!!!!! Silly me!!! While I was snoozing on a cot next to my goat pen, my sweet girls were plotting their escape! (I guess they wanted to be out on the midway where it was interesting, and a curious goat would find lots of fun things to play on out there!)
As I (not so peacefully slept...-as the goat -barn was also the PIG-barn at that time) my sweet, loving adoreable well-behaved goaty friends, had used their nimble lips to escape their boring confinement in the noisy hog-barn, to go find some excitement out on the Midway, and bug people and play on the rides...OH LORD!!!!!!
The carnies brought them back, and I HAD to claim them as being mine.
Talk about being embarrassed, (yet I was happy to have all of my wonderful brats back, even tho I had not known they were missing in the first place.!)
Anyway......
USUALLY, I remember to lock our barn when by myself, (well, sometimes I remember!)
but ALSO usually, Chuck is with me to remind me, (so it is all HIS fault!-just kidding)
Anyway..........
I looked out the window, and saw no baby goat heads... yet they were STILL screaming in terror, and I could TELL the cries were coming from OUTSIDE, at THIS end of the barn! (which was closed, but not locked, cuz I forgot to lock it....... funny thing, how chores get completely screwed up when you are used to doing them with a partner, and then do them all alone.......)
(The other end of the barn, I had opened for them to go out to pasture.. I dunno WHY I bother tho, as they only go out there when we go with them.... LAZY girlies!)
So, I took another swig of my wonderful coffee, while looking out the window, when I heard more desperate cries for help...I looked and looked, and then OMG! I SAW THEM!!!!!!!!! My heart about STOPPED- I tell ya!
There was moosey Laverne, and Tiny Carla, up at the top of the HAY ELEVATOR!!!!! (I wasn't looking for baby goats 20 feet high!!!.. I was looking on the ground!!!!!!!!!!!) Silly ME! I never expected to see those two little brats that we love so much so high up in the air!!!!!!
(The hay elevator has been here a few days, while we are putting hay up in the loft..)
I guess Tiny Carla and Laverne had escaped the big barn door without getting their heads stuck this time, and saw the elevator, and just thought it was a really cool new toy to play on!
That is... until they got all the way UP there, and got scared!!!!!!!!!!! They were SOOOOO afraid!!! It was pitiful,but it was also very funny! (It is funny NOW..... but at the time, it wasn't! Actually, it was way too scarey a thing for me to handle first thing in the morning before I have had my usual 18 cups of coffee!)
Well, I did what I usually do in a scary situation... I panicked, and ran around hollering like a complete idiot! Then I grabbed Chuck, (who had just gotten up, and couldn't even see straight yet) and ran out there almost hysterical, thinking my 2 girls were gonna jump off the hay elevator and commit suicide!!!!! (or break all of their legs trying!)
(Nah.....I DID panic, and holler and become a complete moron, and poor Chuck responded calmly, (as usual) and went out with me, tho he was barefoot and still in his his underwear......poor man...)
Well, we stood at the bottom of the elevator, calling and calling them, (and those 2 little adoreable brats ALWAYS come when called...) But they were just TOO frightened to move.. both of them...so instead of coming while we pleaded and cajoled and then HOLLERED at them to come, they just screamed in terror, and looked at us...so pitiful.....but so darn CUTE! BRATS!
(In the meantime, their sister Elliot, was still in the barn screaming, as she is just a tattletale, and was STILL tattling, even tho were finally up there and knew what was going on...We can always depend on Elliot tho....she ALWAYS tattles on Laverne and Tiny Carla......I think, it is because she is fat, and can't fit thru the tight places that her sister's do.......but we always know, that when Elliot hollers, her sister's are in trouble........and so we scramble to the rescue......)
(These 3 kids certainly see us as their "Mommy and Daddy!" Carla and Laverne's weird little rectangular pupil-shaped eyeballs were just PLEADING for our help, as Elliot continued to tattle on them from inside the barn!)
Well, these two baby girls would NOT come down off of the elevator, in fact, they would not MOVE! They just kept looking at us, and screaming....(as their lonely sister screamed along with them, while still in the barn.)
So then, I went up into the hay loft and tried to coax those 2 brats UP there, but NOPE!!!! They just continued to holler for help.. (the elevator is about a million years old, and had a jack under it holding it up, but that was tipped precariously, so I didn't DARE climb up on it it to get these girls... ) So I stood there thinking, and so did Chuck...
Finally, (because he does not panic in situations and become a total moron like I do,) Chuck climbed (in his underwear, mind you,) up onto one of the tires of the elevator and was barely able to grab Moosey Laverne's collar, and gently drag her freaked out butt down... Tiny Carla watched this, and then decided it was a piece of cake, and so waddled all the way down the hay elevator right behind her ugly half-sister Laverne...
I was SOOOOOO relieved! MY BABIES WERE SAFE!!!!!!
Silly babies, but.....
JUST AS SOON as Tiny Carla realized how EASY it was to walk back down, she tried to jump and run back UP!!! BRAT!!!!!!!!! Fortunately, my little brain was finally working again, and I snagged her by the collar before she got very far! PHEW!
They sure do keep us on our toes!
Tiny Carla and Elliot turn 4 months old day after tomorrow!!!!!! That is.. IF we let them LIVE long enough!!!!!!! They are BRATS!!!!!!!!! (But.. we love em!)
Fall... 2007
Update...
We have since sold Moosey-ugly Laverne, and "Tiny Carla" is not tiny, any longer.) Elliot, the tattletale, has now settled down, as her sisters no longer get into trouble.......as Laverne, (the instigator, is gone...)
Kelso... our beautiful long-awaited, first-born baby of 2007, was a great big buck kid who was born at 4:15 am on Feb 2nd, on a COLD winter's night, to a mom who had an extremely interesting history. Unfortunately tho, we do not know her very unique history, But I am SURE that she has a very juicy one.....doesn't EVERYONE have really gossipy yet awful stories in their backgrounds? We only know Gloria's RECENT history, which is not really that different than alot of goats unfortunately,... tho her recent history IS very sad...which makes it pretty interesting in itself, huh?
Anyway.... so....we rescued this sorry-looking malnourished limping skeleton of a goat, (named Gloria,) from a well-meaning farmer, (named Harold,) who out of the "goodness of his heart", rescued her from an auction, and brought her home, where he kept her in the wet, pitch-black creepy basement of his barn, so that he could starve her slowly to death in complete darkness.........(go figure.)
Sooo, this good-hearted, (tho completely uninformed but compassionate man,) "rescued" poor terrified Gloria, who came with a very deep, five-inch gash (yes... I said FIVE-inches..!) in her front shoulder and a broken front leg, as well as a chewed-up face....and just tossed her into his dark, creepy, wet barn, with his equally sad and hungry cows, to fend for herself, and to eat whatever she could find. It was pathetic,... heart-breaking, really... tho fortunately, Gloria was amazingly fast on 3 legs, and was able to escape the wrath of the hungry large cows who now had to share what little food they were fed, with this poor, injured, and terrified, but wonderful goat who obviously had a very strong desire to live.
Well, along with a broken leg, torn shoulder, and scarred face, dear Gloria must also have a few screws loose in her wee little brain... (perfectly understandable, after such a non-interesting yet sad recent history.)...........I am convinced that her sad, yet mostly unknown (but less recent) history plays a part in her being more than a few bales short of a hay-stack. I am sure of this, because after we got her from Harold, who gave her to us, (months after he had so "kindly rescued" her from the auction house... AND after she destroyed Harold's phone..; most likely she was trying to call 911 at the time, as she needed rescuing yet again, but her clumsy hooves probably would not cooperate with the tiny push-buttons on the phone, and so maybe she got frustrated, and just ripped the whole phone unit from the wall....) and so we gladly went to Harold's and caught the poor frightened, screwy-brained, limping ghost of a goat in his dark, barn basement and brought her home to OUR bright, airy, sunlight-filled barn, to meet our other spoiled rotten goats, who have NO FREAKING IDEA how lucky they are to live in our barn and not Harold's. ( I keep telling them how lucky they are, but they continue to act like spoiled rotten brats, but we love and indulge them anyways.)
After a somewhat short adjustment period, (of gaining weight, and getting to know other goats,) we bred our new friend Gloria, to our big, strapping handsome young buck, Turk, and five LONG months later she had a beautiful, bouncing baby boy, and although she cooed too, and nursed him.... she repeatedly stomped on her newborn beautiful baby's head and back, and tried to bash his brains in, and tried to squish his little 10 pound body into the bedding for the first hour of his little life.
After trying to calm dear (tho nutty) Gloria down, we came to the conclusion that rather than a "June Cleaver" (-nauseatingly sweet-) kind of mom, our Gloria was more of an "Andrea Yates" (BONKERS!!!!!) kind of mom, and we thought it best to remove baby Kelso from under her hooves before she drowned him in the bathtub-(oh wait, there IS no bathtub up there in the barn.....oh well, you get my drift.)
So, anyway, we wrapped this abused wonderful little bundle of newborn joy in a nice fluffy towel, and brought him into the living room by the woodstove, and he became our first "house-goat" of the year...
Baby Kelso slept thru the night right off the bat in the dog crate... I fell SOOO in love with this beautiful new baby.. (maybe it's my empty-nest syndrome or something, as my human kids are in college now....or maybe it was just my soft heart for homeless, and strays....I dunno....doesn't matter, I guess...)
But I bottle-fed this beautiful baby boy on demand, and I would hold him and sit in my recliner and watch tv or read while he slept peacefully in my lap, or nibbled at my book or on my clothes, or face...... all the while petting, and talking to him...and napping right along with him.......... it was truly a wonderful bonding experience......I became little Kelso's "mama"... I WANTED to bring em into the bedroom to sleep with us at night, (as I felt sorry for him sleeping all alone.. after all, he WAS just a brand-new lonely baby...) but.....I figured that was asking a little much of Chuck..
Chuck loves the goats...... no doubt in my mind...., but a GOAT IN THE BEDROOM????? Even HE draws the line at times! But our new baby boy Kelso did just fine sleeping by the woodstove in the living room on a soft towel, in the dog crate..............(and in the morning, he would awake just AFTER my first cup of coffee.. the little angel-boy!) That was just an extra bonus, as I am a moron, before my first cup of coffee..
Well, when we finally had some more babies born 9 days after Gloria's son Kelso entered this world with mom trying to turn his brains into mush, and his poor little body into bedding, we moved him up to the barn...with his new "sisters."
(By nine days old, Kelso was jumping in and out of our recliners, and doing laps through the house constantly, and for SOME unknown reason... he LOVED dumping the trash in the bathroom......ew......)
He was VERY cute.. AND he was pretty much litter-trained, which helped alot........(while he lived in the house.)
He loved having the 4 baby girls for company when he was just 9 days old....!!!!!! He had been all alone with just us old people for 9 days, and suddenly, he had 3 Alpine triplet girls, and a boer/cross doeling for company!!!!!!! In HIS mind, I bet.. "Life don't get any better than that!"
In the meantime, Kelso's mom Gloria, (with the broken leg, torn shoulder, and screws loose,) became very sweet and loving toward us, and even allowed me to milk her twice a day...(It WAS a bit of a challenge at first, but she soon settled down and realized I did not want to hurt her, but that I wanted to be her friend, and I guess that she decided that she wanted to be MY friend, too! It truly seemed like a breakthrough with her, and it was WONDERFUL!!!!!!! )
She was living up in the barn with the other wonderful goats we have and discovered how to actually BE a goat... (a spoiled goat) but nonetheless she learned how to be a goat...(and she MUST have some Alpine in her blood, either that, or she learned from the top Alpines in the barn...cuz she is such a bully toward the kids...a BITER, too!!!!! She doesn't bite US, but she bites any kid that interferes with her being petted. She is a quick learner, I guess!)
Gloria seems happy to be living the way a goat SHOULD live, and she likes us I think, (as she also liked her baby Kelso,) but at least she doesn't try to stomp on our heads, or smush us into the bedding.) .. Poor Gloria (with the interesting yet unknown history) now comes hobbling over for petting, all of the time.........and that warms my heart! She even likes HUGS!!!!!!
(Originally, when I first laid eyes on her at Harold's, I told my husband that I would have sent her for meat.......as she was suffering.. I am SURE that is what the original owners intended... but then, dear, sweet, compassionate, yet dopey Harold stepped in and bought her for a song.. ) and now WE have her, and she is a HAPPY lovebug, who LOVES life, and LOVES people too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Interesting twist, huh? Yes.. she limps, but so what? She is HAPPY!!!!!!!!!
Well, now, here we are... 7 months later...and my sweet little loveable Kelso (Gloria's son) is now 125 pounds of very powerful, manly testosterone complete with STINKINESS and nasty dirty habits to match!!! He is STILL a very loving sweet boy, which is fortunate, I suppose, except for that he loves to rub his sweet, loving, testosterone-infested stinkiness ALL OVER ME!!!! He came over for a hug the other day, and just let loose! He sprayed me good, just like he was a fireman at a 3-alarm fire, and I was a burning building full of people!!! OH YAY! (Talk about jumping up FAST and running away!!!!!!!!!) Of course Kelso followed me and stared at me, and was asking.."WHUTSAMATTAH?" with that goofy buck-grin of his.... I just patted em on the head (while being completely grossed-out) and we hiked back to the barn shortly after THAT! He is a VERY piggy smelly fellow these days, but he is the sweetest boy, and I am very glad that we kept him... at least right now!
Although I love Kelso, (as if he were my own kid.. oh wait! He IS my kid!) I do NOT enjoy being peed on, and so have decided that he can no longer go on hikes with us, (Chuck and I and the does) until he is finished with this silly testosterone-induced blubbering, and generally ridiculous behavior! (I think the girls even laugh at him too, most of the time, as he just looks and acts, and SOUNDS very silly...) I still give him hugs, tho, (as he IS just the most LOVING boy....) but I just try not to breathe too much when I do it........and I also am careful to watch for his "fire-hose.."
His mother Gloria, is now bred again, and I am hoping for a little girl or two this time... AND..... if she doesn't try to bash their brains in, or smash their little bodies into mush, that would be a welcome bonus!!!!!!! If she does...... then I guess I will have babies in my recliner again in JANUARY!!!!!! What a shame.. NOT!!!!!!!! (I LOVE house-babies!)
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Vicki McGaugh TX Nubians
Site Admin
Joined: 03 Sep 2006
Posts: 3439
Location: North of Houston Texas
Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2007 5:04 pm Post subject: Escape artists by Pokeyone42
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I wrote this story in early summer of 2006...
Well, this morning, I went up to the barn to do chores while Chuck slept-(he has been doing hay, so is dog-tired) I figured I would help em out by doing all of the chores myself, and letting em sleep in a little.. NOPE!!!!!!!! Those adoreable rotten baby girlie goats didn't allow it.......(my forgetfulness did not help tho. )
Anyway...
Everything was fairly normal in the barn...well as normal as goofy goats will allow, anyways...)
Everything went as routinely as it usually does.. (all of the goats clamouring to get into the milk room at once for grain-when...., GEE!......... FUNNY! We are not milking ANY of them!!!!
But be assured they know where their grain is kept..AND......... they ALL think they are starving, and so it is a TOTAL goat riot every morning in our otherwise peaceful barn.
So anyway, after battling "Nina the pig," and "Indy," ( who WAS underweight from milking about 40 thousand gallons a day for months on end.., but getting on the fat side now, but still thinks she is underfed and needs an extra 20 pounds of grain a day...) ... and then the 3 adoreable baby girls, to just FEED their sorry butts, I needed coffee... (YES! I know! They are COMPLETELY SPOILED BRATS! ALL of them, but we completely adore every one of them! Unfortunately, they know it, and take advantage of it daily!)
Well, then I came into the house to have my coffee, and no sooner did I pour that steaming, aromatic cup of wonderful.....when I heard baby goat screams of bloody murder! (I then remembered that I had not hooked the front barn door shut, and so figured that in trying to escape, one of the baby girls might have pushed on the bottom, poked her head out, and got stuck...like THAT has never happened before...uh huh......)
The barn we have was DEFINATELY not built for goats! .. It is a "horse" barn, and the main doors as well as the stall doors are on slidey thingys at the top. I guess horses tend to be pretty laid back and cooperative............like....gee..... maybe ya put a calm old horse into a barn, and by-golly.......he STAYS there!!!!!! WOW!!!!!! WHAT A CONCEPT! Being a goat-owner, that is completely foreign to me!
And...............if ya forget to lock goats in with all kinds of chains-padlocks, combination locks, etc...) they tend to escape! (yes, I am exaggerating again, but just a tad....as goats have extremely nimble lips, capable of picking locks better than any NYC burglar!) Goats are THE best escape artists, hands down!!! Every NYC burglar should have a few! (Our "former horse barn" is now a "goat barn"...complete with new gates, and padlocks, and chains...)
(I remember years ago, my "well-behaved pampered" caprine friends got loose and played on the rides at the New York State Fair, while I was happily SLEEPING in the barn, while thinking they were also sleeping right next to me..!!!!!!!! Silly me!!! While I was snoozing on a cot next to my goat pen, my sweet girls were plotting their escape! (I guess they wanted to be out on the midway where it was interesting, and a curious goat would find lots of fun things to play on out there!)
As I (not so peacefully slept...-as the goat -barn was also the PIG-barn at that time) my sweet, loving adoreable well-behaved goaty friends, had used their nimble lips to escape their boring confinement in the noisy hog-barn, to go find some excitement out on the Midway, and bug people and play on the rides...OH LORD!!!!!!
The carnies brought them back, and I HAD to claim them as being mine.
Talk about being embarrassed, (yet I was happy to have all of my wonderful brats back, even tho I had not known they were missing in the first place.!)
Anyway......
USUALLY, I remember to lock our barn when by myself, (well, sometimes I remember!)
but ALSO usually, Chuck is with me to remind me, (so it is all HIS fault!-just kidding)
Anyway..........
I looked out the window, and saw no baby goat heads... yet they were STILL screaming in terror, and I could TELL the cries were coming from OUTSIDE, at THIS end of the barn! (which was closed, but not locked, cuz I forgot to lock it....... funny thing, how chores get completely screwed up when you are used to doing them with a partner, and then do them all alone.......)
(The other end of the barn, I had opened for them to go out to pasture.. I dunno WHY I bother tho, as they only go out there when we go with them.... LAZY girlies!)
So, I took another swig of my wonderful coffee, while looking out the window, when I heard more desperate cries for help...I looked and looked, and then OMG! I SAW THEM!!!!!!!!! My heart about STOPPED- I tell ya!
There was moosey Laverne, and Tiny Carla, up at the top of the HAY ELEVATOR!!!!! (I wasn't looking for baby goats 20 feet high!!!.. I was looking on the ground!!!!!!!!!!!) Silly ME! I never expected to see those two little brats that we love so much so high up in the air!!!!!!
(The hay elevator has been here a few days, while we are putting hay up in the loft..)
I guess Tiny Carla and Laverne had escaped the big barn door without getting their heads stuck this time, and saw the elevator, and just thought it was a really cool new toy to play on!
That is... until they got all the way UP there, and got scared!!!!!!!!!!! They were SOOOOO afraid!!! It was pitiful,but it was also very funny! (It is funny NOW..... but at the time, it wasn't! Actually, it was way too scarey a thing for me to handle first thing in the morning before I have had my usual 18 cups of coffee!)
Well, I did what I usually do in a scary situation... I panicked, and ran around hollering like a complete idiot! Then I grabbed Chuck, (who had just gotten up, and couldn't even see straight yet) and ran out there almost hysterical, thinking my 2 girls were gonna jump off the hay elevator and commit suicide!!!!! (or break all of their legs trying!)
(Nah.....I DID panic, and holler and become a complete moron, and poor Chuck responded calmly, (as usual) and went out with me, tho he was barefoot and still in his his underwear......poor man...)
Well, we stood at the bottom of the elevator, calling and calling them, (and those 2 little adoreable brats ALWAYS come when called...) But they were just TOO frightened to move.. both of them...so instead of coming while we pleaded and cajoled and then HOLLERED at them to come, they just screamed in terror, and looked at us...so pitiful.....but so darn CUTE! BRATS!
(In the meantime, their sister Elliot, was still in the barn screaming, as she is just a tattletale, and was STILL tattling, even tho were finally up there and knew what was going on...We can always depend on Elliot tho....she ALWAYS tattles on Laverne and Tiny Carla......I think, it is because she is fat, and can't fit thru the tight places that her sister's do.......but we always know, that when Elliot hollers, her sister's are in trouble........and so we scramble to the rescue......)
(These 3 kids certainly see us as their "Mommy and Daddy!" Carla and Laverne's weird little rectangular pupil-shaped eyeballs were just PLEADING for our help, as Elliot continued to tattle on them from inside the barn!)
Well, these two baby girls would NOT come down off of the elevator, in fact, they would not MOVE! They just kept looking at us, and screaming....(as their lonely sister screamed along with them, while still in the barn.)
So then, I went up into the hay loft and tried to coax those 2 brats UP there, but NOPE!!!! They just continued to holler for help.. (the elevator is about a million years old, and had a jack under it holding it up, but that was tipped precariously, so I didn't DARE climb up on it it to get these girls... ) So I stood there thinking, and so did Chuck...
Finally, (because he does not panic in situations and become a total moron like I do,) Chuck climbed (in his underwear, mind you,) up onto one of the tires of the elevator and was barely able to grab Moosey Laverne's collar, and gently drag her freaked out butt down... Tiny Carla watched this, and then decided it was a piece of cake, and so waddled all the way down the hay elevator right behind her ugly half-sister Laverne...
I was SOOOOOO relieved! MY BABIES WERE SAFE!!!!!!
Silly babies, but.....
JUST AS SOON as Tiny Carla realized how EASY it was to walk back down, she tried to jump and run back UP!!! BRAT!!!!!!!!! Fortunately, my little brain was finally working again, and I snagged her by the collar before she got very far! PHEW!
They sure do keep us on our toes!
Tiny Carla and Elliot turn 4 months old day after tomorrow!!!!!! That is.. IF we let them LIVE long enough!!!!!!! They are BRATS!!!!!!!!! (But.. we love em!)
Fall... 2007
Update...
We have since sold Moosey-ugly Laverne, and "Tiny Carla" is not tiny, any longer.) Elliot, the tattletale, has now settled down, as her sisters no longer get into trouble.......as Laverne, (the instigator, is gone...)